Adventure Of Three Magicians
by ZeroLimit
Summary: Shirou, Saber and Rin became the heroes of their lives as they are sent forward toward their own adventure. A story that is sure to relate to everyone!
1. Time Rift

**Adventure of the Three Magicians**

**Chapter I**

"**Time Rift"**

Shirou's head is blurry and kind of fuzzy. He slowly recovers as he found himself in a strange room. He quickly checked his surroundings, little by little he realize the blonde petite hugging him.

"Saber!" Shirou quickly stood up, his face all red.

"No time for your love games, we got to figure out what's going on." Rin was standing beside the wall, next to her was an odd mechanism, beeping with lights and gizmos.

"Oh right, sorry Rin." Shirou apologized while restraining the half awake Saber.

They don't know what happened. It was an accident, and now, they don't know what to do…

**Flashback**

"Wake up… Wake up!" Rin shook Shirou so that he could wake from his comforting dream….

"Wha… What's up? What's wrong?"

"We have to move! Fast! The rift is opening!" Rin opened up the shelves, getting some gems and jewels.

"The rift? What rift?" Shirou didn't know a thing.

"There's a rift in time and space, we got to see to it, hurry!"

"What? What for?" Shirou stood up at last picking up some clothes at the way.

"For fun…"

"Then what do you need me for?"

"Well, I'll need an assistant, duh!"

Rin grabbed her bag while Shirou woke up Saber. Their destination is atop their school roof top. They can see sparks. Good thing it's still 4am in the morning…

"Rin, what is the purpose of this expedition?" Saber asked with her curious attitude.

"Saber, this is a scientific exploration. And we are here to find out what is worth finding…" Rin set aside some tools and started writing down some notes.

"Well, according to my research, rifts are supposed to be full of energy…"

"What kind of energy?" Shirou tried to understand Rin's notes but it was too blurry.

"Magical energy, which means we can harness our magic here while getting some research…" Rin was excited more than ever.

"Oh yeah, where's Archer?" Rin twitched as Saber brought out a rather obscure topic.

"Archer is… Resting…" Rin remembered what happened last night. Archer was way too tired to be doing some homework.

The sparks were getting stronger. The street lights were blinking in and out and small rumbles shook the city.

"Is it supposed to do that?" Shirou was beginning to be nervous.

"Of course, don't be a chicken Shirou, we are right here beside you…"

A crackle of lightning came blazing about almost hit Shirou, instead, it hit a lamppost.

"You were saying?!" Shirou took cover from the lightning frenzy while Rin and Saber were calm and watching.

Rin's gems were glowing while Saber's Excalibur became bright gold.

"See, I told you this will be worthwhile…" Rin sarcastically told Shirou with a pout.

"Rin." Saber was looking at the rift fixed to it.

"Now we're full of energy, let's get researching!"

"Rin!" Saber distracted Rin from celebrating.

"Is it me or is that thing getting bigger?" Saber asked Rin as if hypnotized to the glow of time and space.

"Let's get out of here!" Shirou panicked.

The large rift was getting bigger and bigger. And all that touched it became dust in the wind. They quickly reached for the entrance, but bolts of lightning destroyed their path. There was nothing left to do but wait the inevitable as the rift came closing in fast…

**End of Flashback**

"Yeah that's what happened… What is this place?" Rin tried to grasp their situation.

"What's that over there?" Shirou pointed at the gizmo near Rin.

"I tried it many times, but I can't understand it…"

Rin once again used the mechanism. It shows signs of intelligence but it has it's own language… Blip! The machine acted kind of strange, and a voice spooked them from the speakers….

"Rin Tosaka, thank you for registering you and your friends. You will be transported according to your specifications…"

"What! I didn't do anything!" A bright light surrounded them and then…

Rin opened her eyes, she was in a closet, but the walls were made of glass and a door with blue transcriptions. She quickly opened the door but fell down. Just then, a girl walked near her and said;

"Oh my God! I didn't know you were coming! Hey guys! Look!" The unknown girl raised Rin to her shoulder, the girl's fragrance was very relaxing.

"How did SHE get here?!" A man protested, standing up from a weird chair.

"If they keep changing the rules I swear I am going to protest…" Another woman was shocked by Rin's arrival.

"What? Where am I?" Rin got hold of herself and asked the kind girl.

"You got chosen! You're in the house! You're a housemate!" The girl was thrilled about Rin.

A voice startled everyone as it said;

"Miss Rin Tosaka, please come to the diary room…" A lock disengaged behind Rin and started to open.

The unknown girl led Rin towards the room. She took a seat and became confused. A camera was in front of her. Again, there was that computer voice;

"Rin Tosaka, you are live in channel 4057, please do not swear…"

"You have got to be kidding me…" Rin was assured where she is but why??

* * *

_Author's Notes:_

_Well, this is a great! I am excited in what will happen next. As you might have guessed, Rin is in a Big Brother House, and she has NO idea what is going on. Shirou and Saber will be joining soon. So StAy TuNeD!_

_-Zerolimit_


	2. Where Are They?

**The Adventure of Three Magicians**

**Chapter II**

"**Where Are They??"**

Rin was fixed at the corner of the house, looking at everything and everyone. She was very confused about what is happening. But being an intellective superior she is, she tried to mingle with the other "housemates" and the first is that kind girl she met before.

"Hiya!" Rin gave a greeting with a smile and a calm wave.

"Oh, hey Rin. Whatcha doin?" The girl responded according to Rin's plan.

"May I ask what is your name?" Rin altered her accent a bit.

"My name is Lily."

"Oh, so Lily, when did you become a part of this game?"

"About 2 months. 6 people have been eliminated and this is the last month. 3 of us are left, but you came along, I don't know what will happen next..."

"Another elimination is about to start about 5 minutes. I hope it's not me though…" Lily added.

"Okay, I'm getting the hang of this." Rin felt assured, if she gets eliminated, she can find a way to find Shirou and Saber…

**Meanwhile…**

Saber woke up standing on a podium with her name on it. She felt dizzy but quickly calmed herself down.

"Where am I?" She asked a person next to her, also standing at another podium.

"What do you mean?" The man became puzzled.

"What is this place?"

"Look, just follow the android and everything will be alright."

"What?"

"Places everyone! Going live in three, two, one." A female operator signaled the cue.

Background music…

"Welcome, to The Weakest Link!"

Saber's mouth was wide open as she saw the Anne Droid. Lights flickering all over the place and signs of nervousness began to take place.

**Meanwhile #2…**

An orange haired boy tried to grasp his way to get a clear look to what happened. He noticed he was sitting in a fuzzy sofa and a large set way staring right in his face. There is also an audience watching him…

"Okay, he's awake! Broadcasting in five, four, three, two, one." Another operator said rasing his hand.

"And we are back in another episode of Oprah here with our special guest, Emiya Shirou!" Everybody clapped their hands while Shirou was perplexed, raising an eyebrow.

_WHERE THE HELL AM I!!_

* * *

Author's Notes:

Hehe, 3 persons enter a world of programs. Up next, "When Are They??"


	3. Archer, when are they?

The Adventure of Three Magicians

The Adventure of Three Magicians

Chapter III

"**When Are They??"**

ZeroLimit: Hmmm…

Rin: What's wrong?

ZeroLimit: I think we're missing something; it's just not completed yet.

Shirou: What are you talking about?! It's great!

Saber: Zero is right, someone is missing…

Hmmm… Just then, a servant suddenly pat Rin on the back.

Archer: Missed me? (Audience screaming)

Rin: Archer!

ZeroLimit: That's it! Archer, you wouldn't mind trying to rescue Rin wouldn't you?

Archer: Well not really, maybe I will let her suffer for a bit you know, and THEN rescue her.

Rin: Why you sarcastic, self-confident, bossy little bastard!

Saber n Shirou: Takes one to know one… Hehe…

ZeroLimit: Now, back to you Archer.

Archer: OK, let me twist it a bit for you Rin, hehe…

Rin: Zero! Don't let him get on the set.

ZeroLimit: Sorry Rin but I have to.

A spark came by Rin's eyes. And an imaginary fire came blazing behind her getting ready for her devious plan…

Archer: Something is fishy around here…

Rin: Ok, Zero, put him in the story… Hehe…

ZeroLimit: Ok… Wait, wHy??

Rin: Oh nothing, tehee…

ZeroLimit: Archer?

Archer: Don't worry, I've seen Rin's entire bag of tricks, she couldn't hurt a flea.

From a distance: Rin: (giggles)

ZeroLimit: Ahem, now back to the story…

In the middle of the school grounds stands a crimson servant. And in front of him the enlarging ball of destruction. He quickly leapt towards the rift # but tripped by a rock #

"Excuse us…" Archer stood up leaving the scene.

Line

Archer: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

ZeroLimit: Dunno

Archer: What do you mean "Dunno"?

ZeroLimit: Hey, I didn't write that!

Suddenly they realized it. And started to look around for suspicious characters.

(Whispers)ZeroLimit: It's Rin.

(Whispers)Archer: Yeah, I can sense her filth. That conniving snake…

(Whispers)ZeroLimit: What are you gonna do?

(Whispers)Archer: Let her do her thing, I'll take care of it.

(Whispers)ZeroLimit: ??

Back to the scene once more…

In the middle of the school grounds stands a crimson servant. And in front of him the enlarging ball of destruction. He quickly leapt towards the rift # but tripped by a rock # with Archer's amazing reflexes, he started to glide and landed perfectly. He touched the ball and turned to dust…

**Meanwhile…**

"Saber, what is the name of the famous king who ruled Britain, wielding his legendary sword, Caliburn?" The Anne Droid said.

"Hmmm… Is it, Amhar?" Said Saber who thought her son was the one.

"No the correct answer is King Arthur…"

"_Wow…"_

**Meanwhile #2**

"Shirou, what is your inspiration in your so-called art?"

"What? What art?" Shirou assumed a different pose, more so because the show was live

"Well, you HAVE been the most eligible bachelor of the year haven't you?"

"_Good God!"_

"I am?" Shirou decided to be serious.

"You sure are! Right girls?" The women screamed for Shirou, even though Shirou was a little confused he decided to ride with it…

"Well that's right, I am! My God, don't you look good today?" Shirou became a little aggressive and a little impulsive.

"Why thank you Shirou! So, in spite of all your fans here, who is your special someone?"

Shirou imagined a blonde fighter, ready to fight for the sake of honor.

"Let us call our second guest for today…" Oprah called the second guest.

"Mr. Archer!"

Archer fell out of nowhere. Dizzy and puzzled, he decided to sit down. Making things worse, he saw an orange haired idiot with his face completely shocked.

"So Archer, what differs you and Shirou from attracting women?" Shirou braced himself for a sarcastic answer as Oprah questioned Archer.

"He's an idiot and always wears that stupid outfit as long as I remember. Besides, I am a lot more gorgeous than that nincompoop." Archer tried to balance his words at criticizing himself, well his former self.

"WHAT?!" Shirou tried to fight back but another question struck Archer.

"Who is your special someone Archer?"

A flash of mini skirt suddenly influenced him to say his true love. # He decided to shout with all his might;

"I LOVE RIN!!" # (someone giggles from the background)

"Oh! So this Rin character must be pretty striking to be your one and only…" The audience screamed reacting to Archer's bold answer.

"Archer, you alright?" Shirou whispered.

"Rin's been messing this story up. Can you imagine me falling in love with that bit—"# A huge spotlight fell and hit Archer in the face. #

"Well anyway Oprah, thank you for inviting me here but I got to go…" Archer stood up while holding the aching bump on his head.

"Wait, Archer!" Oprah signaled the que for the ending. While Shirou ran behind Archer.

"Did Rin made that spotlight fall on you?" Shirou tried to comfort dear Archer but Archer was more focused in getting out and cutting in next to his next victim, Saber.

Author's notes:

ZeroLimit: Hope you liked it!

Archer: Yeah, you fellas better like it. I've been icing this bump for 2 weeks!

Shirou: Archer what do you mean by Saber as you next target?

# A great avalanche of plastic balls consumed Zero, Archer and Shirou to the floor. #

Rin: UP NEXT! ARCHER IN THE WEAKEST LINK! HAHAHA!


	4. Rumble Jumble

**The Adventure of Three Magicians**

**Chapter IV**

**"Rumble Jumble"**

-!#&())(()&#!-

Disclaimer: I own Fate Stay Night, I really do! (Skips away laughing maniacally to the mental institution)

-!#&())(()&#!-

* * *

Rin: WHAT'S UP WITH THE TIME DELAY!

Archer: Yeah, what the hell's wrong with you man!

ZeroLimit: I just got out of a coma jeez!

Shirou: Did you dream about us?

…

ZeroLimit: Why the hell would I dream about you! Maybe a little, but that's not the point!

Saber: You're alive again that's what matters.

Archer: Yeah dude, I checked your e-mail and it's like 3000 new messages in there.

ZeroLimit: Anyways, my mind's about to burst, I have new ideas but have little time to work on.

Rin: Let's get cracking then! I'm getting itchy as well!

Archer: Well, as long as I'm here, I can scratch all day long…

…

…

#(giggles…)

"We've been walking around for days! What is this place?" Shirou complained, falling down to the ground.

"I think we are in the future…" Archer looked around the long hallway leading to nowhere.

"Wow, what a rich future this is, days of walking in a fancy theatre like hallway, space isn't really an issue here now is it?" Shirou sighed.

Archer fell silent. He was just staring off into space without saying anything.

"What's wrong Archer?" Shirou noticed.

"Damn. Can't get that 'I love Rin' out of my head!" Archer shrugged.

Boom! An earthquake erupted.

"What next?" Shirou stood up.

"What's happening now?"

"Hey you!" A voice came from behind.

A white haired teen with a serious face came closer. He was wielding a sword with a shape of a key.

"Who are you?" Shirou asked.

"Riku…"

…

…

…

"Oh! Like in the Air Gear!"

"No, you idiot! I said Riku! Not Rika!"

The key blade master turned to the crimson servant. Their eyes sparked as they gazed at each other's face. Sparks came about, and the atmosphere became silent.

"If you're going to kiss you better do it when I'm not looking…" Shirou interrupted.

"What's your problem?" Riku barked.

"You're a faker…" Archer replied.

"What are you talking about?" Riku and Shirou became confused.

"You're copying my hair…"

"Huh? Which part of this (points at hair) looks like your tea brush over there?"

"Why you little!" Just as soon Archer's hand came up, another figure stopped him from behind.

"You can bark all day, but can't you see we're in a pinch here?" A slender teen with black clothes declared.

He let go Archer's hand and took out a black feather. A faint light came out but got extinguished in the end.

"Hmmm. Can't be…" The man said.

"Please introduce yourself to the class…" Shirou asked because everyone was confused.

"Oh! My name is Dark. Pleased to meet all of you." He winked at Archer which made Archer twitch.

"What kind of a name is Dark? Are you part of a cult or something?" Archer picked a fight once more.

"What kind of a name is Archer? Can't your parents think of a name more general?" Dark answered back.

Riku noticed another man with violet hair or whatever that is. He was looking around same as them. Riku turned and said.

"Tell me your name."

"Athrun Zala from the Archangel…" The two just stood beside each other looking at Archer and Dark fighting.

"Oh man, I'm losing character and fast! At this rate, everyone's going to forget about me!" Shirou sat in a corner, talking to himself.

"BWAHAHAHA! You guys are funny!" Another teen in shorts wearing a straw hat bursted out of nowhere.

"Man, what a pain…" And yet another teen came out of nowhere. He was wearing a black coat with kunais and shurikens.

"What? Where am I?" An orange haired teen poofed out from the walls.

"Oh! Look Saber… They're coming out of the woodwork… What a nice day it is, right?" Shirou was talking to a Saber doll in the corner, with a dark aura coming out.

In a matter of seconds, the whole hallway was filled with talking protagonists. Everyone was talking to each other while others were just mingling around, touching things…

"Archer? Archer? WHERE ARE YOU?" Shirou was crawling all over the place looking for the one person he was familiar with. It seems like he noticed that the Saber doll he sewed on the spot caught on fire when a Gundam came firing around.

"Shirou… Ugh… I'm over here…" Oddly, there was a bush next to Archer when Shirou found him.

"What? What are you doing here?" Shirou crept closer. He noticed Archer was butt naked.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING A POOP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?" Archer WAS in fact, hiding beneath the bush praying his ass out.

"My stomach gets queasy when there's too many people around… Ugh… (Poot!)"

Suddenly, everyone fell asleep, except the one inside that giant robot, Dark, and that coated ninja.

"What are you doing?" Dark asked. He was immune to such magic or whatever.

The ninja took the closest person he could find and raised the body on top of his shoulders.

"I used a nin jutsu to make them fall asleep… I'm going to dispose them…" The ninja declared.

"THEN WHY THE HELL IS YOUR PANTS GONE! WEAR AN UNDERWEAR YOU ECCHI NINJA! What are you going to do with them!" Athrun screamed from inside his Gundam.

#

The moment the red Gundam took another step, the whole floor cracked and crashed below. Everyone woke up and discovered a pony tailed girl in the middle of the room, writing stuff down with a magic feather.

"So THAT'S it!" Archer stood up, with eyes full of anger without any pants…

"That's right! My fellow warriors! This girl right here is the culprit!" The god known as ZeroLimit stood up from a chair.

"What? Uhm. This is a misunderstanding you see.." Rin stood up and prepared to run, but everyone gang banged her and all hell broke loose.

Smutty Scene...

"KYAAAA! ONE AT A TIME! YOU IDIOTS! AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING THAT ROBOT ON ME! Kyaaaa! Wipe your ass Archer, geez…"

To be continued…

**Meanwhile…**

"Everyone ditched me and gone out with Rin… Aw…" Saber standing on a podium said, holding a Shirou doll with pins on them…

UP NEXT! THE REAL DEAL! Who wants to be a millionaire?

ZeroLimit: Seriously Archer, get a tissue…


End file.
